家事分工2

今天回家看見ㄤ站在廚房清洗前天烤餅干弄得一團混亂...

ME: 你喜歡我嗎?
ㄤ: 洗汪
ME: 你在幹什麼?
ㄤ: 洗汪
ME: How do you say "I like washing dishes?"
ㄤ: (想了一下) ...我不喜汪喜汪 ....

可惡~沒被騙到....

家事分工

去朋友開的餐廳 "Mr. Sausage Kitchen" 吃飯, 澳洲先生與台灣太太，酒足飯飽坐在吧台聊天博感情，突然撇見澳洲先生馬克在收拾廚房洗碗擦地的身影:

ME: "Darren你看馬克!"
老闆娘: "你們在家怎麼分工? Darren 洗碗ㄇ?"
ME: (正想認真地解釋家事分工內容)

ㄤ: (驕傲+若無其事狀)

"When you have a penis like mine, you don't need to do dishes."

...這個時候究竟是要給ㄤ面子還是給老闆面子捏?....

Mr. Sausage Kitchen 提供手工製作的香腸，老闆娘親切的笑容及老闆認真的態度很值得您試試喔~ 吃素的我去那兒還可以吃到好吃的素食香腸跟千層面喔~最重要的是，那裡的啤酒選項多，我還喝的到印度跟威爾斯啤酒ㄋ~

What Kinda Wife I am?

今天去上了堂身心靈的課程。晚上回家打開門，

ME: "Honey, your spiritual wife's home!"
ㄤ: "....."
ME: "Hello?"

...ㄤ: "Go away! I married a slut."

沒關係~我今天有修...

中文教學

把有長翅膀的勉綿畫給ㄤ看，說，要買22-24cm 的 "好自在"。

ㄤ回家說買不到好自在，所以買了也是 "在" 字輩的勉綿。
拿出來一看，哪來的"在"? 是 "靠得住"....

可能，對於圖像學習中文的ㄤ來說，"住在" 你心裡...是一個字...

...ㄤ~謝謝你..今天敎ㄤ新句子。「跟你住在一起，好自在。因為，你，靠得住。 」

The Hard Old Time

I feel obligated to share this story with y'all. My husband, who I think should be the next James Joyce(or Ron Jeremy), said this:

"These kids today - they don't know!!! When I was young, I had to walk a mile in the snow (up-hill, both ways) to buy porn. Sometimes I was successful, sometimes the shopowner refused me. Porn was not delivered free to your house via the internet.

Those were hardtimes my generation grew up in!"

God am I lucky.

Darren Haughn & Venus Chen (c) 2010-11-30

飛鼠 (flying squirrl) 褲第二篇:

昨天穿新買的飛鼠褲上班，回家看到ㄤ，對我的裝扮，微笑了一下

ME: Do you like my new style?
ㄤ: I still can't see the charm in it...
Me: But I must look cute in it. You smiled everytime you saw me wearing it.

ㄤ: (still smiling) I smiled 'cause I was trying not to laugh.
ME: .....

最經典

ㄤ的經典對話我最喜歡這個：

那天在家看美國影集 Weeds， 片中有一名單身媽媽和鄰居青少年相吸引，在美麗單身媽媽開的cheese店打得火熱~ 我不禁有感而發：

Me: "I wonder how it's like now kissing a 18-year-old."
ㄤ: "It's like a half of me".
Me: ......

他的意思是說只有他的一半那麼好~
果然是有 "無論如何也不能輸給年輕人" 的中年男子氣概啊!!